Category: Mindset

Talking about the importance of Body Confidence

I am body confident.  But, it hasn’t always been that way.

The irony is that when I had no confidence I actually was within a normal weight range, was much younger, and probably on the surface had a lot going for me.  Inside though my confidence – or lack of it messed up so many relationships, fuelled an unhealthy relationship with food and contributed to depression that was my black dog for many years.

Now I am 52, overweight, a few grey hairs, a few wrinkles and I have body confidence.

What really changed to give me body confidence?

What really changed?  I have given this a lot of thought.

I have waded through photographs of myself taken over the last 50 odd years looking for answers.  The only answers I got were that over the years my body has got less perfect (when measured up against the norm).  If the answer wasn’t in physical appearance then where was it?

I started to think about the people in my life at various stages.  It was at this point that some answers started to appear through the mist.  Where were the people who loved me unconditionally?  Where were the people who believed in me wholeheartedly?

It is very important to make a statement here.  Each person’s belief system is unique and individual to them.  Belief is the subject of another blog post in the future, but what I really want to emphasise here is that it wasn’t about the people who supported or believed in me, it was about my perception that they did.

Even if someone loves you unconditionally and supports you – and you don’t feel it or believe it then it doesn’t count as far as body confidence goes.

You need to know that there are people around you that support you.  It needs to be obvious support.  Compliments, affirmations lots of positive feedback.

Of course this is only part of it.  A huge part of body confidence comes from within.  That within needs feeding though.  It needs feeding by others and by you.

The media  and other voices and how they affect and body confidence

The media is constantly showing us unrealistic beauty.  We know it is airbrushed, but regardless this feeds into negative self-confidence.

It is more than just the media though.  People who are around you can affect the way you feel about yourself, especially if your self-confidence is low.

I have to share a little story about just that.  I was visiting my sister in Dubai – which is hot!  She said I must definitely bring a swim suit.  Well I hadn’t worn one in years.  I bought one online and felt very self-conscious wearing it.  I wrapped myself in a sarong and towel and headed outdoors for a dip.  The only ‘person’ around was the cat!  Well you know what cats are like – he looked me up and down and I felt awful.  Because, my inner self-confidence was in shreds.

Be that person that builds body confidence in others

My request today is that you decide to be the person that builds other people up.  This is more important even than remaining neutral.

Young girls are having issues with body confidence all the time.  They compare themselves to others, to people on TV and on social media and are made to feel that they are not good enough.

Although I know that self-confidence must come from within, I strongly believe that feeding anyone with a diet of compliments, positivity and unconditional friendship will go a long way to building body confidence.

I am so grateful to the people in my life, from boyfriends (and yes I mention this first as you need a lot of body confidence to get naked), family, friends and colleagues who have spent the time to like a photo on Facebook, and tell me I am looking good.  The times when someone has complimented me on what I am wearing or told me how a blog post I have written has helped them.

Feed your friends a diet of positivity.  They will really appreciate it.

I know for me once I heard it often enough I started to believe it and that is when the shift happened for me.  There were other tools I used including counselling too. It is never simple, but it has to start somewhere.  Receiving a compliment is a great place to start.

This body I stand in today is mine, and I am proud of it.  Every dimpled cellulite bump, wrinkle and pound.  Even my freckles which I have been trying to get rid of for years.  I have body confidence but it took a long time to get it.

Thank you for reading and please feel free to share so we can spread this message about body confidence around the internet.

Kerry xx

Get up and Go – I am excited!

Sponsored post

Get-up and Go – how many times have you asked for a little of that.  I know I have.  Days when I am tired, or simply not motivated.  I hear a voice in my head – Kerry, just get up and go.

Well it seems that the call has been answered.  I am delighted to be attending the Get up and Go event in Sligo on 21 and 22 April.

I will be spending two days in a beautiful setting in County Sligo listening to some of the most inspiring speakers and most importantly tapping into my own get up and go.

Get up and Go with Passion and Purpose

The Theme for 2017 is Get Up and Go with Passion and Purpose.  It was chosen to inspire everyone to think about what you are truly passionate about and to discover how to create purpose in life by living true to your passion.

Spend two days listening to wonderful inspirational speakers in their own unique style of ‘get up and go’. Speakers and topics range from business, adventure, entrepreneurship, confidence, education, health and well-being. All with the intention to inspire, motivate, encourage and empower the audience to ‘get up and go’ in life, especially in areas where they might be ‘stopped’ or stuck.

‘Our speakers this year show us how, as ordinary people, we can courageously step outside of our ‘comfort zones’ to pursue what is important to us, and be a demonstration of life lived in accordance with passion and purpose”, said Eileen Bennett organiser and publisher of the now famous Get up and Go diary series..

Do you suffer from FOMO?

I am one of those people who suffer from serious FOMO (fear of missing out).  There are often great events on in Dublin or abroad, that I simply can’t get to for one reason or another.  This time there is a unique opportunity to listen to some amazing speakers at an affordable price point and within reach.

Tickets can be purchased here.

Sligo is a spectacularly beautiful location on the Wild Atlantic Way, with scenery that has inspired artists for years.  I will be snapping images for my upcoming art exhibition as we travel north for a two-day event that promises to shift thinking.

This is really an event with a heart.  It is a not for profit event with four charities that will receive support.  I am guessing that there will be many more people who will be benefiting from simply attending, listening to the speaker and tapping into their get up and go.

Hope to see you there, and watch this space for a report back.  I have my notebooks ready and know I will return inspired.

Thank you for reading.

Kerry xx

This is a sponsored post in conjunction with the Irish Blogger Agency.  But, to be honest I would have written it anyway, it is an event that is just up my street!  I am counting the days.

 

The Art of Giving to Yourself

Over the festive season there is a lot of giving going on, but how much are you giving to yourself?

In January it is time to give yourself gifts and feel true gratitude.

If we don’t fill up our own cup, we will eventually become depleted and not be able to give to anyone at all.

This is not only about gifts that come wrapped in shiny paper with ribbons, I am also talking about the gifts that cannot be wrapped.  The gifts of time, indulgence and those that do not have monetary value.

The Little Book of Hygge

For Christmas I was given The Little Book of Hygge – The Danish way to live well by Meik Wiking.  This is published by the Happiness Research Institute in Copenhagen.  My grandfather was from Denmark and I am entranced by this idea and how Danes find happiness.  I am sure I will be writing more on this subject this year, but for now I wanted to quote the book regarding giving and gratitude.

Wiking speaks of hygge in terms of giving yourself and others a treat.  ‘It is about savouring the moment and the simple pleasures of good food and good company.

‘It is giving the hot chocolate and whipped cream the attention it deserves. In short indulgence.Hygge is about the now and how to enjoy the moment and make the best of it.

‘More than anything, savouring is about gratitude.  Gratitude is more than just a simple thank you when you receive a gift, it is about keeping in mind that you live right now and allowing yourself to focus on the moment and appreciate the life you lead, to focus on all that you do have and not what you don’t.”

He confirms that evidence-based studies show that practising gratitude has an impact on happiness.

The Art of Giving to Yourself – January Challenge

As a January challenge I am going to give something to myself every week – and perhaps take it through 2017.  I would love it if you would join me on this challenge.

I have put a quick list together of gift items you may consider:

  1. I recently visited the Seabreeze Beauty Clinic in Oranmore (very close to where I live). This is a wonderful oasis of calm.  The staff are friendly and welcoming and the treatments I had were sublime.  I am definitely going back for one of my gifts to me.  In January it might be small – a manicure perhaps, but I have a whole lot more on my wish list.  The day spa includes a wonderful relaxation room, seaweed baths, a sauna and of course all the wonderful treatment rooms. (This was event organised by the wonderful ITWBN)
  2. A good book and a big cup of tea. There is nothing quite like a good book.  I read on my Kindle a lot and you can pick up a great read for as little as 99c.  I subscribe to BookBub and find out about some great deals.  Why not make yourself a jumbo cup or better yet a pot of tea and give yourself a full hour to sit quietly and read.
  3. Time out to simply be. We live in a world where everything is rush rush.  I am not the worst but I remember when I was working full time and there simply wasn’t time to be.  Why not book yourself a holiday day (or take a Saturday or Sunday). If you can’t do a full day start with a half day.  Tell your partner and family you are having a me day and do exactly as you want.  It may sound selfish but it really is important.  But refuelling in whatever way suits you best you will be in a far better place to be the best you can be.  It may be a day shopping, or going to the gym.  It is a day for doing what you want to do and answering to only you.
  4. Have tea with a friend. I love a good chat – and if it is accompanied by tea or coffee and cake even better.  Taking an hour or two out of your day won’t cause stress, I promise it will reduce it.
  5. Take a class. I teach craft classes and I think I get more out of the class sometimes than the students.  Putting yourself in a situation where you are in flow is so good for the soul.  Although I am tired, I am also energised after a class.
  6. Eat well. I am a few kilograms up after Christmas and despite loving all the yummy Christmas treats I don’t feel great.  I intend gifting myself with some lovely meals.  I will make them, set the table and sit down and eat them.  I will savour each bite and know I am giving my body a gift.
  7. A good magazine – or if you can afford it a subscription. I love the Psychologies magazine – it is my one monthly indulgence and it feeds my mind as well as being a great read.  No matter what you choose – choose for you, and of course feel free to indulge in a cup of something while you read.

 

The most important thing – according to Hygge is to savour your gift to yourself.

If you would like to join me on this challenge I would love to hear your ideas and how you get on.  Feel free to comment here or on Facebook.

Thank you for reading.

Kerry x

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