How to be Fabulous

Fabulous is probably my favourite word.  When I was on the cusp of turning 50 I had really mixed feelings – do I duck it and pretend to be 49 for years, or do I embrace it.  I decided to go with the latter and to be fabulous at 50 and beyond.

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Words are very important to me.  I am writing a book about how single words have changed my life, and the word Fabulous would have to be included.  This time last year I had a breakdown – a hard-earned one, and I can honestly say that embracing the fabulous has been a huge part of my journey.

I have been through a lot.  A broken marriage, depression and numerous health issues which are still ongoing.  The one thing I have learned is that the only person you can be is you.  And it is your obligation to be the best you that you can be.

My favourite quote is this one from Dr Seuss.

Today you are you, that is truer than true.  There is no one alive that is youer than you.

When we are authentic we are fabulous.

So how do you embrace your Fabulousness.

There are 6 principles of fabulousness that I have figured out.

Positivity

Being positive is another of those skills that you have to practice.  Like any form of exercise it can be hard and frustrating at first.

The first time on the treadmill is hard, the second is harder, you feel awful, sore and sweaty, but ultimately you get it and start to feel fantastic.  I only started walking (as a form of exercise) in my late forties.  The first walk was so short, but after a short while I was clocking up the miles and I felt better.

Positivity is like that.  Tap into positivity.  Find your self daily affirmations – I am fabulous – and spend time around positive people – both online and off-line.

Inspiration

Inspiration is a wonderful thing.  We all aspire to be better than we are and tapping into inspiration stretches us and makes us want to put the effort in to be a better version of ourselves.  I find inspiration in my daily life, I also find it online by following people who I admire.

How many ‘friends’ do you have on Facebook?  How many people do you follow?  Follow people who you admire, and aspire to be like.  Read books, listen to the radio and podcasts, put yourself in a place where you are inspired.  But remember what you goal is – to be the best version of yourself.

We have a wonderful group on Facebook called Fabulous Woman – I go into the group every day, and sometimes more than once a day and get inspired by ordinary woman who are aspiring to be fabulous.

Motivation

This is another biggie for me.  Motivation.  Where do you find the motivation to do what you do every day, and then where are you going to find the motivation to do even more?

Motivation is your reason for acting on something.  Your reason for getting up and changing things.  My motivation is simple – I never want to go back to being a quivering scared woman in a marriage that was hurting me.  I want to be the best mom I can to my son and I want people to know that everyone deserves to be happy.

That is a big vision, I know.  We also need to break it down and talk about daily motivations.  Perhaps you need some incentives on a daily or monthly basis to do nice things for yourself.  That sounds funny just saying it but woman generally put everyone first before they do something for themselves.  Your motivation is to be the best you that you can be and I promise you this that everyone around you will benefit from you being fabulous.

So set yourself some goals and set up some treats and incentives.

Creativity

I believe that everyone is creative.  Some people paint or draw, and others might be creative in the kitchen or through crafts.  I have been teaching crafts for many years and I just love the light that comes on when people are being creative.

It is simply fuel for the soul.  We spend so much of our lives giving to others but we need to refuel.  Eating well, drinking water and exercise are all important but being creative is essential.

You don’t need a lot of money to get started.  Simply start in your daily life.  Rearrange furniture or ornaments, write in a journal, tap into your creative well.

Add it into your mix and you will become even more fabulous.

Networking

Networking is an essential pillar of fabulousness for me.  When you say networking to some people, a switch goes off.  They are not in business, don’t have a business card and are not interested in getting up at 6 in the morning for a meet-up where business cards are swapped.

Networking is simple and it has been done since the beginning of time.  You know that person that is connected to everyone?  You know if you call them they will know someone who can help.  She is a supreme networker.

We network in our daily lives every day and through this we create our circle – our network.

The thing to remember about networking is that it is relational not transactional.  Networking is not about making a sale or a deal, it is simply about getting to know more people.

I love meeting new people, and simply getting to know them.  Conversation is a great way of building relationships.

When you meet someone – tell them about you – not about what you do.  Tell them what makes your heart sing.

Talk to people everywhere and build your network – you will be remembered for who you are that real authentic you.

Am I that one on Facebook who wears a crown  and always talks about being fabulous, or am I a personal branding specialist?  You will probably remember the crown but then at some stage when someone needs a personal branding specialist you might tell them about me.

We can use networking to surround ourselves with positive people who will motivate us, inspire us and spark our creativity too.

Appearance

Now, I know that I like pretty party dresses.  I feel great if my hair looks great and I do love make-up.  But that is just me.

For many years I didn’t embrace this side of me.  I suffered from depression and cried so much that there was little point in make-up.  I felt really ugly and fat because I listened to the criticism around me.

One day I made the decision to be fabulous and I need to tell you that I had to fake it for a while.  Every day I got up and got dressed.  I did my hair and accessorised.  I took a make-up lesson and made a commitment to wearing make-up most days.

I feel that this is me – at my best, my most fabulous.

When I was all ‘dolled-up’ I felt better. I felt like the best version of me possible.

I just want to make a point here, that if you feel the best that you can be wearing jeans and a check shirt, that is ok too.  What you want to tap into is dressing as you, to feel like the best of version of you.

It is a funny thing because when you tap into your fabulousness, people notice what you are wearing less, they notice how you feel and the energy you are putting out.

Be fabulous online and offline

Facebook is now the largest ‘country’ in the world.  Most of us are on Facebook and many of us are on other social media sites such as Pinterest, Twitter and Instagram.  It is really important that when you are showing up – as the best you that you can be, you do this online as well as offline. These days the first connection with many people is not in person but online.  Grow your network and show your positivity online.

This is an extract from a talk I recently presented at the Festive Ladies Afternoon Tea in Mayo.

Thank you for reading and please feel free to share.

Kerry x

Where to you get your inspiration from?

Inspired by Coral-lynne Fabuliciousfifty

I am inspired by Coral-Lynn on a daily basis.  I am honoured to call this fabulous woman an ‘old’ friend too.

Inspiration comes from so many places. A walk in the forest, hanging the washing out on the line, or going online.  Sometimes though you need a nudge,a few words that get you thinking.

Years ago when things were quite tough, I started getting texts to my phone every day.  Little quotes and messages that so often resonated with what I was going through.  These little texts were sent by Coral-Lynn. (more…)

Being Fabulous on Tour – a little life update

Fabulous friends, fabulous family and fabulous experiences.  That basically describes my October.

Over a period of a month I travelled on 6 different aeroplanes, numerous cars, and changed the bed I was sleeping in eight times.

Yes, I was exhausted, but I was also exhilarated and inspired.

I started off my travelling to Dublin to speak at the Women’s Inspire Event.  What a wonderful day meeting so many inspirational women.  I wrote a little blog post about it here.

Special stop-over in Dubai

Then it was onwards to Dubai where I have a home from home with my sister and brother-in-law.  I love visiting Dubai which always inspires me.  This is a city that has been created from a dusty single road 25 years ago to the bustling metropolis of creativity it is today.

(more…)

Dream it and do it!

what-you-think-you-become-what-you-feel-you-attract-what-you-imagine-you-create

 

Sometimes you simply have to dream it – and then do it.  I am delighted to be back with a Wednesday quotation  blog post and from my home country of South Africa.

Eight months ago I had a dream to come back to South Africa and spend time with my childhood friend.  We have known each other since we were 3 or 4 years old.  Friendships like this are really precious.  They don’t just happen though, they have to be nurtured.  Bev and I do exactly that. (more…)

Where Women Inspire – a report on a wonderful event!

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Women Inspire – it’s that simple.  I am privileged to be a member of the Women Inspire Network on Facebook and Twitter where I receive daily inspiration.

The privilege was even greater when I was honoured to speak at the recent Women Inspire Event – From Kitchen Table to Building an Empire, held at the City North Hotel in Dublin.

I have to admit I was excited and then intimidated to share the stage with women that I admire.  Anna Scheller came over from Texas to give us some awesome tips on sales, Lilach Bullock, one of Forbes Top 20 Women Social Media Power Influencers flew in from London.  (more…)

Dating in your 50s – Part 2

 

Getting ready for a date when you are 50 plus gave me some challenges.

a-guide-to-dating-in-your-50s-part-2When you are over 50 chances are that you are not as happy with your body as you were in your twenties.  Things have sagged, bagged and expanded, not necessarily in that order.

I thought I would share a little story about getting ready for a particular date.  Spoiler alert – it was a one-off date.

Don’t despair though for every date that doesn’t pan out – you are one step closer to one that does.

The date …

I rushed home from work, threw myself into the shower and washed my hair.  I have this idea in my head that my hair and my cleavage are my best assets so all date outfits and arrangements start with that!

After pouring myself into my date bra – push them up and make them proud, I started on the make-up.  I love make-up it always makes me feel a little bit prettier.  Tonight’s date was with a man whom I had been corresponding with for a few weeks.  He seemed well read and intelligent.

I made a snap decision – I was going to wear contact lenses.  I very rarely do for reasons that will be revealed but I guess I was feeling a bit insecure and thought that the make-up might shine brighter when not hidden behind metal frames.

Breathe.  I was nervous and had to drive a half an hour to the meeting point at a random pub that seemed to be half way for both of us.  I grabbed my phone as I needed to keep an eye on work emails and realised that I couldn’t read my phone with my contacts in.  Like many of us over 50s I wear varifocals.  The contacts were only my distance prescription.

Time was ticking as I panicked over a solution.  Luckily I lived in the middle of the town and flew down to the chemist as it was closing asking for granny glasses (over the counter reading specs). I grabbed a pair that matched my coat and went to pay.  I glanced down at my phone. It was now twice the size and curved.  I had grabbed a pair that was far stronger than I needed.  The kind assistants made the swap and I was off on my date.

It was an awful drive.  The heavens opened and visibility was bad.  I didn’t know where I was going which didn’t help at all.

(Just an aside – after this date I made a decision that I wouldn’t travel – if they wanted to meet me – they could find their way to a place I could walk to!)

I finally made it into the pub and all I wanted was a nice calming drink but of course I had to drive back.  Blinking to keep the contact lenses in place I was at least glad that he had arrived first.

We didn’t gel.  I employed all my conversational skills over a soft drink and excellent fish and chips (chosen because it was what he chose and I couldn’t read the menu without the granny glasses).  It was simply hard work.

Dating in your 50s is hard work

At this point my next conversational gambit was delivered and landed like a lead balloon.  “I think there is a reason that dating normally happens in your 20s or 30s.  It takes a lot of energy and can be hard work.”

Perhaps I didn’t mean it so directly but I still stand by that sentiment.  It is hard work, but ultimately it is worth it.  I have met some amazing friends and some more than friends.

Suffice to say that date ended pretty quickly after that and I drove home, removed the lenses from my scratchy eyes and settled down to a nice cup of tea.

I waited a couple of days before diving into the dating pool again.

If you would like to read my previous dating post have a peek here

Thanks for reading and please come back for more dating in your 50s advice and adventures.

Kerry x

All the support you need for your girlfriends

 

Yesterday I bought two new bras.  Oh my, you have no idea how good it feels to have the support I need!

good-friends-good-bra-fabulicousfiftyI am quite well endowed and so good support in a bra is essential and to be honest not the easiest thing to find.  Although more companies are making pretty bras in bigger sizes now, it is still difficult to find a bra that makes you feel supported and sexy at the same time.

It is a funny thing about a bra.  It is quite often never seen, other than by yourself. And yet it makes a huge difference to how you feel and to how you look.

Feeling pretty and perky with my support

As I walked around my home this morning feeling really perky in my new spotted number from Debenhams Gorgeous range I started thinking about how much a bra is like a girlfriend.  And how very important the support is in both cases.

My musings include the obvious support that women give women.  I am so amazed by this on a daily basis.  I have been through some tough times and it has been the support of my girlfriends that held me up I felt ok. No mean feat with a GG Cup!

Beautiful friends much like a beautiful bra make you feel like a better version of yourself.  They both make you stand taller and give you that dash of courage to go out and be the best version of yourself.

Conversely of course a bad bra and a bad friend have some similarities.  We have all felt the bite of that escaped underwire that stabs you close to your heart.

So today, hitch up those bra straps and if you need to treat yourself and your boobs to a new bra or two (mine came in a twin pack).  We all deserve support!  Remember those friends who are as good as a triple hook and lacy wide straps.

Thank you for reading and please feel free to share with a friend who understands the value of good support.

Kerry x

 

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