I grew up thinking I was fat. From day one really. I don’t know why because when I look at those old faded photos with the white borders, I wasn’t. But, I thought I was and that’s what counts.
I started dieting radically when I was 13. I attended a slimming clinic where I was put onto a high protein diet and spent two hours a week a bit like a mental patient bandaged up with electrodes placed around my body to help burn fat.
To cut a very long story very short – I believe that crash dieting makes you fat. I have through my life probably lost my entire body weight (not a small amount) at least twice. I have mastered almost every diet known to man and woman. I am an expert dieter. I have got gold stars, stickers and even spoken as a motivator for a diet. And yet as I crept into my forties I was fatter and unfitter than I had ever been.
Now, I know that it isn’t all’ dieting’s’ fault. I have quite a few medical conditions including depression. Medication doesn’t help either. I have also suffered from depression for a long time A couple of years ago I started changing my life and this is part of my journey.
Today, I am a little thinner, but a lot fitter – and fit feels good
After a three or four year period where I had just given up dieting (and surprisingly stayed the same large size rather than gaining weight), I made a decision that the time had come to ‘deal’ with it.
What made me so determined. Are you ready? I wanted to feel sexy and feminine. Each person will find their own motivator, but this was it for me.
My first step was to make up a mantra.
‘Nothing tastes as good as sexy feels.’
Everytime I looked at a chocolate or eyed up seconds I would repeat it in my head. I shared it with a few people and got varying responses. There were some who said they would go for the chocolate, and there were days I would agree. (and then I ate chocolate, and still do)
The next step was to get an appointment with a dietician. The tiny lady who saved my life
Seriously! Both that she is tiny and that she saved my life. Blood tests unearthed two very scary diseases – diabetes and pernicious anaemia.
I have always had this idea that dieticians shouldn’t be too skinny otherwise they might make the fatties feel uncomfortable. Well my dietician is seriously skinny – but healthy. You can see it on her face so after my first misgivings I started to listen.
I remember 3 things from that first consultation.
- Change only your lunch – nothing else.
- Small changes
- Have blood tests (including an iron test)
Blood tests unearthed two very scary diseases – diabetes and pernicious anaemia as well as a very low iron count.
I told her my mantra – still not sure what she thought.
The journey towards health started with small changes, primarily my lunch.
She had also said that I couldn’t eat lunch with my work mate. We had got into a routine of taking turns making a nice lunch. Which of course normally turned into a silent competition of who can put together the nicest spread. Speaking honestly we also rewarded each other with food.
Bad Day = Croissant or a danish
Good Day = Curley Wurley (a dieters chocolate)
Boring Day = Long lunch with a pudding
You get the picture…..
The first month wasn’t hard. I changed my lunch and made sure I was eating a protein at every lunch (not the easiest thing for a vegetarian who lived on cheese), and simply kept the goodies for the evening.
When I weighed in a month later I was 9 pounds lighter!!!!!!!!!!!
This was the first step in a long journey which as led to a complete overhaul of my eating habits and of course my path to fitness.
An extra message before I sign off from this post. Compliment your children and give them a positive body image – I don’t know why I thought I was fat as a child, but after a long while I can look at these childhood pictures and realise that I was pretty and perfect!
Thanks for reading.