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I grew up thinking I was fat.  From day one really.  I don’t know why because when I look at those old faded photos with the white borders, I wasn’t.  But, I thought I was and that’s what counts.

I started dieting radically when I was 13.  I attended a slimming clinic where I was put onto a high protein diet and spent two hours a week a bit like a mental patient bandaged up with electrodes placed around my body to help burn fat.

To cut a very long story very short – I believe that crash dieting makes you fat.  I have through my life probably lost my entire body weight (not a small amount) at least twice.  I have mastered almost every diet known to man and woman.  I am an expert dieter.  I have got gold stars, stickers and even spoken as a motivator for a diet.  And yet as I crept into my forties I was fatter and unfitter than I had ever been.

Now, I know that it isn’t all’ dieting’s’ fault.  I have quite a few medical conditions including depression. Medication doesn’t help either.  I have also suffered from depression for a long time A couple of years ago I started changing my life and this is part of my journey.

Today, I am a little thinner, but a lot fitter – and fit feels good

After a three or four year period where I had just given up dieting (and surprisingly stayed the same large size rather than gaining weight), I made a decision that the time had come to ‘deal’ with it.

What made me so determined.  Are you ready? I wanted to feel sexy and feminine.  Each person will find their own motivator, but this was it for me.

My first step was to make up a mantra.

‘Nothing tastes as good as sexy feels.’

Everytime I looked at a chocolate or eyed up seconds I would repeat it in my head. I shared it with a few people and got varying responses. There were some who said they would go for the chocolate, and there were days I would agree. (and then I ate chocolate, and still do)

The next step was to get an appointment with a dietician.  The tiny lady who saved my life

Seriously!  Both that she is tiny and that she saved my life. Blood tests unearthed two very scary diseases – diabetes and pernicious anaemia.

I have always had this idea that dieticians shouldn’t be too skinny otherwise they might make the fatties feel uncomfortable.  Well my dietician is seriously skinny – but healthy.  You can see it on her face so after my first misgivings I started to listen.

I remember 3 things from that first consultation.

  1. Change only your lunch – nothing else.
  2. Small changes
  3. Have blood tests (including an iron test)

Blood tests unearthed two very scary diseases – diabetes and pernicious anaemia as well as a very low iron count.

I told her my mantra – still not sure what she thought.

The journey towards health started with small changes, primarily my lunch.

She had also said that I couldn’t eat lunch with my work mate.  We had got into a routine of taking turns making a nice lunch.  Which of course normally turned into a silent competition of who can put together the nicest  spread.  Speaking honestly we also rewarded each other with food.

Bad Day = Croissant or a danish

Good Day =  Curley Wurley (a dieters chocolate)

Boring Day = Long lunch with a pudding

You get the picture…..

The first month wasn’t hard.  I changed my lunch and made sure I was eating a protein at every lunch (not the easiest thing for a vegetarian who lived on cheese), and simply kept the goodies for the evening.

When I weighed in a month later I was 9 pounds lighter!!!!!!!!!!!

This was the first step in a long journey which as led to a complete overhaul of my eating habits and of course my path to fitness.

An extra message before I sign off from this post.  Compliment your children and give them a positive body image – I don’t know why I thought I was fat as a child, but after a long while I can look at these childhood pictures and realise that I was pretty and perfect!

Thanks for reading.

Kerry xx

13 comments on “How giving up dieting changed a fat girl’s life”

  1. What a great post Kerry, thank you. I have battled with my weight my whole life and was always a ‘big’ girl. I have now educated myself about food being ‘fuel’ for my body instead of a reward for my taste buds and understanding what foods are fuel for me. Our bodies are such great temples and engines for us, we must honour and look after them carefully.

  2. Kerry, as I know you personally, all I can say as your last line states, ‘You are beautiful and perfect’ NOW. Not only are you an inspiration to us all, but you’re one of the loveliest people I know. This coming from a ‘curvy’ woman as well… we need a bit of a bigger package for the big heart. <3

  3. Many people I know have grown up with being made to feel bad for their weight or size, when there was no need, and thus creating the problem, and it stays with you throughout life. I am glad you discovered your health issues, and are on track to be healthy and feel fitter, not to be skinny or lose weight. Well done Kerry xx

  4. Hi Kerry loved the post, Like you weight/size is an issue for me, having creeped up to a size 18/20, I battle with food, I don’t think I’m fat, but get the odd comment, from my Mum, which hurts the most, ( you look bigger in that,) (or pats my tummy) and this year was diagnosed with pre-diabetes, and fatty liver, which scared the s— out of me, but I’m trying hard, the hardest is the evening, when I’m in front of the telly, the Wine or the goodies calling me, so getting a lot of decoupage cut of late, to try get the conditions under control.
    Keep up the blogging, love reading it.
    Yvonne xx

  5. You thought you were fat? I thought you were just another one of those naturally gorgeous South African chicks who didn’t have to do anything to reach perfection, but smile. I was right. You were and still are Ms Kerry. Hope you can find a place in your head and heart to see that.

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