All the support you need for your girlfriends

 

Yesterday I bought two new bras.  Oh my, you have no idea how good it feels to have the support I need!

good-friends-good-bra-fabulicousfiftyI am quite well endowed and so good support in a bra is essential and to be honest not the easiest thing to find.  Although more companies are making pretty bras in bigger sizes now, it is still difficult to find a bra that makes you feel supported and sexy at the same time.

It is a funny thing about a bra.  It is quite often never seen, other than by yourself. And yet it makes a huge difference to how you feel and to how you look.

Feeling pretty and perky with my support

As I walked around my home this morning feeling really perky in my new spotted number from Debenhams Gorgeous range I started thinking about how much a bra is like a girlfriend.  And how very important the support is in both cases.

My musings include the obvious support that women give women.  I am so amazed by this on a daily basis.  I have been through some tough times and it has been the support of my girlfriends that held me up I felt ok. No mean feat with a GG Cup!

Beautiful friends much like a beautiful bra make you feel like a better version of yourself.  They both make you stand taller and give you that dash of courage to go out and be the best version of yourself.

Conversely of course a bad bra and a bad friend have some similarities.  We have all felt the bite of that escaped underwire that stabs you close to your heart.

So today, hitch up those bra straps and if you need to treat yourself and your boobs to a new bra or two (mine came in a twin pack).  We all deserve support!  Remember those friends who are as good as a triple hook and lacy wide straps.

Thank you for reading and please feel free to share with a friend who understands the value of good support.

Kerry x

 

My morning ritual – finding time to be quiet, to eat well and to be grateful

My Morning Ritual includes finding time to be quiet is so important.  It is really a bit like food for me – If I don’t have my quiet time I get ratty and crabby a bit like if I am hungry.

decide-to-make-today-wonderfulMany of you might know me as a bubbly outgoing person, but regardless of personality type I strongly believe that spending time alone, and not necessarily doing anything is like food for the soul.

Some people meditate, some pray and others observe the quiet in daily chores.

I wake up early.  I have figured out that I need at least 2 hours from opening my eyes to being functional.  Sometimes this means a very early wake-up but it is worth it.

My morning ritual

My first stop is the kettle and then if I am in pain I treat myself to a tablet or two.  That first cup of tea is like nectar and sometimes I simply sit awhile warming myself from the inside with the unique taste of tea.

This is my time and I indulge myself by reading and meditating or tapping.

The time when I simply do nothing in the quiet still of the morning is so precious.  It is during this time that ideas begin to spark and forgotten memories creep back into my consciousness.

I always have a better day when I meditate or practice EFT (tapping).  I don’t always find time, but when I do my focus is clearer and my intentions stronger.

There are three basic essentials to my morning that take place during this period of ‘me time’:

  1. Setting intentions for the day

I have issues with energy and I find that a day can be wasted if I don’t set clear intentions.  Sometimes these are as simple as doing a load of washing, resting and writing a blog post. Other times they are a little more complex, but ultimately by setting what I want to do I most often get my little list complete.

  1. Gratitude

I begin and end each day with thoughts of gratitude.  I have so much to be grateful for and I find that focussing on this puts me in a positive mindset for the day.  Even on a bad day when I am sore and tired, I can still find so much to be grateful for.

  1. Breakfast

I am a true believer in breakfast.  My energy levels are highest in the morning and I try to eat a good balanced and probably by most accounts large breakfast.  I take my time over breakfast and often treat myself to a favourite TV programme while I eat my way through a three course breakfast.  I try to nod to all the food groups and set myself a little tray.

My reckoning is that this is my main meal of the day and I have all day to work it off.  A good breakfast sets me up.

Rituals can be defined as a series of actions or type of behaviour regularly and invariably followed by someone.  I like my morning ritual, it keeps me both focussed and productive and most importantly keeps me from becoming crabby and moody.

Thank you for reading.

 

Kerry xx

 

 

A Guide to dating in your fifties – Part 1

a-guide-to-dating-in-your-50s

Dating in your fifties is quite different to dating in your twenties.

Everything had changed from when I last went on a date 20 years ago.  Facing fifty, with a few more fat cells and wrinkles and a lot less confidence I ventured into the dating game again.

More people are finding themselves single in their fifties as I did.  Simple math says that there must be men out there feeling just as I did.

Internet dating seemed to be the way to go. Quite honestly it allowed me to hide behind a screen while I flexed my underused flirting muscles, for the first time in over 20 years.

Dating in your fifties – Dare I put myself online?

Filling out the online form is quite daunting. I  felt quite positive – I found that I was thinking quite honestly about myself and what I wanted in a relationship.  Putting up a photo was beyond scary.  What if someone sees it?  What if everyone looks and thinks I am ugly? Fat? What if nobody looks at my profile or even worse people look and nobody contacts me?

And what about the wierdos?  What about the creeps?  And what would my family say?

Feeling brave I pressed the button and put myself out there.  Whew – now I need a cup of tea.  I decided to be brave and not check on replies for two days as I might not get any response at all.

I did get response, but my advice would be not to  wait on men to contact you. Be positive and take the initiative – and then go man shopping.

The best way to get what you want in life is to be proactive and online dating follows the same rules.  Get yourself and glass of wine or a cup of tea and start browsing for what you want.  Set the filters quite broadly and start window shopping.

My advice:

  • Consider people 5 years younger and 5 years older – if you are daring push this out to 10 years.  I met some lovely people who were younger than me.
  • Think about distance and geography – although I initially looked across the country and was actually quite happy chatting with men miles away. This meant that I could hide behind the computer screen longer, it really is easier to date someone closer.
  • Don’t get hung up on too many details and requirements. What is the worse thing that can happen?  You can make an online friend and practice your flirting skills. (I made loads of friends that I value to this day).

Having said that important considerations are:

  • Intent – nothing serious – quite often means married and looking for some adult fun
  • Spelling and grammar – I really don’t mind about someone’s education as we have all been given different opportunities in life.  However if a profile is badly written with text speak and no care – this is a big indicator.  You might also find someone who has littered his profile with xgbnvwein ;voiienm and other random keyboard strokes – he can’t be bothered to fill out the profile properly so don’t be bothered with him.
  • No Image – when I first started online dating I was too shy to put up a photo – I was coming out of a very negative place and I hated what I looked like.  Honesty is the best policy though and when I realised that I didn’t want to chat to guys without photos I put mine up.  Lack of a photo can also mean married.
  • Looking for a fun with a good-looking girl – move on swiftly

The great thing about being online is you can play.  Simply have fun – drop a note and say Hi – try to mention something that you found interesting in their profile.  I often asked about the last book they had read or movie they had seen.  It is a good ice breaker and tells you something about them.

If you are in a similar place and considering dating in your fifties, come back for more dating advice I have a good few posts lined up with advice on Tinder, on getting ready for the first date and of course some good, bad and funny stories.

Seriously, I believe that we all deserve good company so be brave and take the plunge.

Thanks for reading

Kerry xx

 

 

 

Introducing the gifts drawer – the joy of planning and giving

The Gift  Drawer Fabuliciousfifty

 

I love buying gifts, I buy them all year round and then keep them in a very important place – my gift drawer.

It isn’t about the value of the gift for me, but rather about the sentiment, and the person I am buying for.  I get so excited when I find something that simply shouts out a name, and I know it is the right gift.

My gift drawer makes me smile.  It has some random goodies collected throughout the year.  It is lovely to know that when November comes and Christmas countdown begins, I can rummage through my drawer. I always find that I have collected lots of gorgeous goodies specifically for the special people in my life.

Not just for Christmas

Of course a gift drawer is not just for Christmas (although it certainly helps). It is also there for birthdays and those very important gifts – gifts with no reason.

Quite often when I am going to visit someone instead of buying chocolates or wine, I might have a peek in the present drawer.  This magical drawer often yields just the right thing to take along and make my host feel special.

I do love giving but I have honestly learnt the best lessons on giving from getting.  I think of the feeling I had when a friend arrived with a paper bag full of little gifts all of which show how well she knows me and how much she cares.

Lots of gifts at the ready

When I was a little girl I had a lisp.  Legend has it that when I was asked what I wanted for Christmas I replied Biths and Pieces.  I still think it is a great idea.  I delight in lots of little parcels – all with meaning.   Because of this, I rarely buy one large gift but prefer to collect up a little grouping of special things with great memories and thoughts.

I am blessed to have friends and family who think like me, and treat me to special times unwrapping little gifts all carefully thought out.

Home made treasures

I also make a lot of my gifts – upcycling common household items and of course raiding my craft supplies.  A personalised gift is a great way of telling someone who you really care.  For this reason I have a second drawer with items that fit into this category.  This year I am going to be creating some personalised jewellery using mini art works and photographs.  I am also determined to try the Sharpie oven bake idea for personalising gifts.

Wrapping and writing

The third drawer down in this magical chest is the wrapping and writing drawer.  The place where I keep wrapping paper, tissue, ribbons and cards.  And of course tape and scissors (as I am always looking for them!

My mom always takes so much time wrapping gifts.  I remember Christmas where each gift was wrapped in tissue and then in matching cellophane and then curly bows pulled with scissors.  These are the memories that make me smile!

Thank you for reading

Kerry x

 

 

What is your definition of Fabulous?

 

Fabulous means being the absolute best version of yourself.  It means tapping into yourself and understanding exactly who you are and them adding a bit of oomph!

Be fabulousA dictionary defines fabulous as being extraordinary – it is a superlative, but a good one!!

When I started my blog I chose the name and the meaning because I was striving to overcome quite a few things that had landed in my way.  I was rebuilding my life after a marriage breakdown, dealing with depression, kick starting a career at fifty and dealing with a couple of auto-immune diseases that meant that pain was a constant companion.

Be Fabulous.  I said this to myself on a daily basis.  I was tapping into the idea that if you act the act and talk the talk it will become reality.  Every morning I get up, I do my hair (which was a challenge when it started to fall out), and do my make-up.  I learnt new make-up tricks and started treating myself to new products.

My wardrobe became my friend as I started to put together outfits that made me feel fabulous.  I have some great favourites like a cobalt blue chiffon jacket that makes me feel good on a bad day.

For me this seemingly superficial attention to detail was a great trigger to feeling better. By taking care of myself on this level I started to pay more attention to the next level down and took time to give my skin nourishment and to start putting a walking plan into place.

Slowly the sense of fabulousness filtered through to a deeper level where I take time to nourish my mind and body on a daily basis.  I make sure I have time each day to simply be.  To sit and think.

I have a huge amount of work to do in my life – not least of which is my tidying and decluttering journey which is my current voyage.

A tribe of Fabulous Women

A huge joy for me this past year has been starting a group on Facebook of Fabulous Women.  Here I have met so many wonderful ladies who all define fabulous in a different way.

The constant is that we as fabulous women lift each other up and celebrate our uniqueness in a positive way.  Fabulous women are kind, they are caring and they are fierce when needed.  These are women who are determined that life circumstances will not get them down, and that when they rise, they will hold out their hands to the other women in their circle and lift them up.

What does Fabulous mean to you?

For each of us feeling fabulous means something different.  We are not all into hair and make-up, and we are not all into hiking.  This is what makes it such fun – we are all unique.

My wish is that we can all take a minute a day and tap into what makes us feel fabulous.  And if you, like me need to act it and talk it until it is a reality – then that is ok too.

 

I would love to hear how you define fabulous.  Please feel free to contact me and let me know.

If you would like to join the group on Facebook you are very welcome!  We are now over 1500 Fabulous Women!

Thank you for reading

Kerry xx

Why do I blog? I blog because I love communication.

Why do I blog?  I blog because I love communication.  Years and years ago I went to college and studied communication and this has been a constant in my career and life since then.  Communication is the key to successful relationships.

Communication FabuliciousfiftyAt college, I remember studying Marshal McLuhan and his model of the global village.  In the early eighties this was all a little sci-fi.

“Global village”, was first talked about in Marshal McLuhan’s book The Gutenberg Galaxy: The Making of the Typographic Man.  In this book McLuhan described the internet as it is today when technology basically shrinks the world into a village.  This was in the early sixties.  During the eighties when I was studying I clearly remember a line in a text-book, which talked about the future of communication.  It posited that photographs might be able to be sent over a telephone line!

As a junior public relations officer I remember photographs and press releases being sent by courier to the newspapers or via telex after being typed into a weird typewriter thing that spat out yellow punch tape.

Fast forwarding out of history to the present and my desire to communicate and connect with people still exists.  I have worked in the industry for many years communicating on behalf of others, but many of you will know it is far harder to talk – or write – about yourself than someone else.

My blog was born after I turned 50. This was a turning point in my life and I was determined that life’s circumstances would not get me down.  I wanted to greet middle age with a wave of confidence.

After careful thought I chose Fabuliciousfifty as the name of my blog and tentatively put up my first post.  Ten people read it and I was delighted. I wanted to blog about overcoming life’s curveballs and still being fabulous and to communicate with people who might be in the same boat as me.  Over the past 18 months now and have written about all sorts of stuff from balance, to fitness and my walking journey, my struggle with pain and social isolation.

The most important thing for me is the feedback.  The little notes and messages that I receive mean that my blog is about communication – two way communication and I wanted to thank everyone who reads my blog for that.

Littlewoods Ireland Blog Awards

I am really humbled and honoured that I have been nominated and then voted on by my peers and have been shortlisted in two categories in the Littlewoods Ireland Blog Awards.

If you would like to give me a little vote the link is here.

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But most of all I wanted to thank you for reading and giving me feedback.  We truly are living in a global village now.

Thank you for reading and giving me such lovely feedback.

Kerry xx

I am broken and other words to be aware of!

We really need to be conscious of our conversations, especially those we have with ourselves.

Beware the power of your words

I used to tell myself, ‘I am broken’.  I felt broken.  My hands were sore, my body ached.  Everything I did took effort. There were a lot more utterances of I can’t than I can.

Emotionally I felt broken too.  I had been through quite a bit during my marriage and the break-up and I didn’t seem to be able to settle into a new relationship.

What I didn’t realise at the time was that the words that I spoke and the thoughts I had were just making things worse.

Starting a new conversation

In January this year, I started on a new career path as a business coach specialising in Personal Branding.  I have been training, practicing, reading and learning for months.  It has been a privilege to work alongside one of my oldest friends who is a business coach supremo – with two masters degrees under her belt and a PhD in progress.

As I was a bit cash strapped I offered to do some content writing and marketing for her company. Fair exchange for some of the tutelage.  The first job I was tasked with was writing about Conscious Leadership Conversations.  The idea of being so conscious of a conversation was new to chatter box me.

The message was simple but profound.  The content of our conversations is vital and can ultimately lead to increased productivity and efficiency.  Executives spend a huge amount of time in meetings – and in conversation and the quality of that conversation is vital.  But what about the conversations we have with ourselves.

Finding a new place for me

Over the past 7 months I have done all sorts of self exploration and personal growth projects and the message is clear – we need to be really conscious of the words that come out of our mouths (and the of our thoughts.)

Sitting down at your desk and saying – even to yourself – I am so stressed, I will never get through this.  She is driving me mad. I am so frustrated with this place.  All those words are basically prophecies.

When I was working in Westport and had to take a half day off to go to the hospital, I would go in an hour early and get stuck in.  I set myself tasks and motivated myself telling myself that I could get everything done and be in the car by 1pm.  I also reminded myself that everything would go smoothly and I wouldn’t get any calls on the road.  Those half days were sometimes the most productive days I had.

So now, despite the days when I am tired and in pain, I speak to myself kindly and wisely.  I guard against saying words like broken, stressed and frustrated.

Now I am very conscious of my conversations with others and with myself.

I love words and have been practicing my ‘word of the year’ idea for 5 years now.  Words are incredibly powerful.

If you want to read some of my previous word of the year posts have a look at these links – Balancewriting about my words, and this year’s word – detail.

Be aware of the power of your words, they can come back to bite your or they can lift you closer to your dreams.

Thanks for reading.

Kerry x

 

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